| | Apparently blogging was not a big priority for me this year... I didn't even manage to write one little blog this whole year. I've been thinking about things, but nothing every formulated into complete a thought that I was compelled to document. And I don't know that this thought is complete either, but I'm forcing myself to write so I'll slip back into the habit of blogging.
A few months ago when my grandmother was visiting she and my sister and I took some time to watch a movie about Jane Austen. I've read some of her books, but I knew little about her life. At the end of the movie, my sister remarked how sad it was that she did not marry... before she even completed her thought, I jumped in and said, "It's okay - you don't have to be married to be happy!" I was a little premature, because April clarified that it was sad that Jane found the person she wanted to marry, but she chose not to marry him because of the sacrifices it would require of him - she gave up what she wanted in order to do what was best for him and his family. As we sat and pondered the thought, my grandmother said, "But she was noble."
Her statement has stuck with me through these last several months for more than one reason. My grandmother herself can be accurately described as noble... and that quality was made clear through her admiration for another person who chose noble actions. But it also struck within me a desire to become the kind of woman who can be described as noble.
When I look back on this year, I recall many fun experiences... 7 trips to new places, meeting new people, beginning a cupcake business, teaching at the college level, baking fun cakes and throwing showers... I've welcomed these new ventures and enjoyed all of them. I've seen new things and loved new people and made new memories. But in this reflective state of mind, I see that I have not been growing this year. I've allowed other things to occupy my time and distract me from the one relationship that truly matters. And I do not see a noble woman blooming inside of me.
So this year, I have one true resolution. I want to be a noble woman. I want to live a life without reproach, I want to demonstrate integrity in everything that I do, I want to be on fire again.
And I begin now to take the steps to make that a reality. So that one day, when my time on earth is done - whenever that time comes - people will be able to say about me, "But she was noble."
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| | Posted 12/31/2008 11:34 PM - 8 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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